Information for the Birth Mother

What if the father is denying he is the father?

What if I was raped?

What if I don't want to tell the father?

What if the father refuses to agree to the adoption?

As a birth mother, if you have additional questions, please call us collect at 785-842-5628 or email at katie@action4adoptions.com

What if the father is denying he is the father?

This is very common. It is the father's way of defending himself against taking responsibility. He may use this as a way to keep from accepting financial responsibility and emotional responsibility. It is the job of our agency to meet with him and try to get him to sign a Consent for Adoption (legal paper). We can often explain that signing the consent does not admit paternity (admit he's the father for the purposes of child support) but it will allow YOU to go on with your life. Generally, father's are very cooperatiave.

If the father has an attorney, often times the attorney will hold the document until after you have signed your consent to the adoption. Then the father will release his document and the child can be adopted. If he does not sign HIS consent, yours is not valid either.

Again, this is not something to get overly concerned about. It happens frequently in adoptions.

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What if I was raped?

If you honestly do not know who the father is, you will be asked to sign a legal document in front of the Judge stating you do not know who the father is. If you are just not wanting to tell the father, it is not a good way to get rid of his involvement. If you lie in Court, you could be found guilty of perjury. Perjury is a crime.

If you were raped, the Judge will not further victimize you by trying to make you feel guilty for that. He or she will just want to confirm that you do not know the father. We will have a rape counselor available for you to help you with this process.

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What if I don't want to tell the father?

You do not have to tell the father, but someone does need to get his signature on the Consent for Adoption. You may feel that the father is nothing more than the "sperm donor," but he still has the legal right to make decisions about his child. Failure to contact the father and get his consent could result in the father claiming the child at a later date. This would not be fair to you, the child, or the adoptive parents.

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What if the father refuses to agree to the adoption?

The father does have parental rights. The only way that the adoption can occur is for the father to agree to the adoption. Although many fathers may initially want to raise the baby themselves, after receiving counseling they realize that this is not what is necessarily best for the child. After some counseling, many fathers agree to make the ultimate sacrifice of love for their child, as you have, and allow their child to be raised by someone else.

Ultimately, the father:

We realize that this does not seem "fair" to you. However, don't be discouraged, we can work with you on this problem.

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